. You can pick one of the writing prompts and then link up on Thursdays. Here is the one that I chose:
1.) What would you change about your life if you could?
This is kind of hard because the major thing I would change is how I handled my college years. But, if I changed how I did things, then I probably wouldn't have Jeremy in my life and I would be without my son.
I grew up in a small town in NW Iowa. After graduation, I moved to Iowa City to attend the U of Iowa. I totally messed it up. By the end of the first semester, I was on academic probation. By the end of the second semester, I was either kicked out or I had to fight for me to stay there.
I chose to be kicked out. I had already signed a lease for my first apartment. So I decided that I would go to Kirkwood a community college.
I thought for sure since I screwed up and wasted tons of money the year before I would buckled down and get things done. I was wrong.
I totally slacked off. I didn't go to class and I would call into work quite frequently. I think at the time, I wanted to be like my friends who didn't have to work because their parents paid for EVERYTHING. I didn't think about how I wasn't in that situation and that I was paying for my own college and rent.
My third year rolled around and I decided that I was going to take a year off from school all together and just work. Obviously I wasn't ready to go to college. I did all right, but I really missed going to school. At the end of that summer, I moved back in with my parents and went to the community college here for computer programming. I did quite well and that's when I met Jeremy. Eight years later and we are still together with a son.
There are times when I wish I would have graduated from Iowa. I could have done awesome things with my life. I see a girl that joined our department who is just 25 years old. She has a great sales job and a pretty new house in the "rich" part of town. That could have been me. Or I have friend whome I lived with in Iowa City that moved to Chicago and have high power jobs. I sooo wanted that.
I'm not saying that I'm not happy. I have a great job as a secretary at Tyson Foods. I love my job. I went back to school a couple of years ago to get an associates degree in Business. I'm currently finishing up my bachelors degree in business. I hope to get into management in the next few month.
When I think about how I should have done things differently and how I'm jealous of my friends, I feel guilty. Had I done the things I really wanted to do, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this post on my Mommy Blog with my precious little boy asleep down the hall.
Do you ever wish you would have done things differently? If so, do you have the same guilt that I have?
4 comments:
I occasionally get that pang because I'm the first of my group of friends to have a kid (and I had mine at 24), one is a teacher, one is a bank exec, a non profit leader and the other two work 'regular' jobs and I'm the stay at home mommy. I used to work in a management position and I used to feel more jealous or regret but I know now after voicing it too them that they are just as jealous of me as I am of them!
Sometimes I think about how things could have been different if I changed something I did, but like you I would not be where I am. And I like where I am now.
I do like where I am. I wouldn't say that I have those feelings alot, maybe when I read a status update on FB or something. Darn that facebook! But, I'm so happy with the man I chose to be with and the path that we have taken together.
I think we all have woulda shoulda couldas. But, like you, I wouldn't trade my kids for the world, and everything that happened in my life - good or bad - led me to them.
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